the silent treatment
so file this one under random (oh wait, i did), but there was just too much irony in the situation not to write about it. i woke up this morning with laryngitis. yes. as in no voice to even scream about how unbelievably unfair it is, laryngitis. i have never experienced this before in my life and it is truly bizarre. but beyond the mere physical absurdity of the situation, i just there are 3 other things that make it ridiculous.
first, Spy has been gone for 10 days. TEN. i haven’t had another adult human in my house to talk to for 10 freaking days. when do i get laryngitis? the day he comes home. so i’ve gone from having no one to talk to to having someone right here who is all ears and i can’t even have a conversation.
second, while in the throes of self-pity, wondering why oh why such a horrible fate had befallen me, i remembered something that happened last night. at my wit’s end and thoroughly over being single mommy again, when the usual even chaos of dog, cat and daughter was at its height and i had absolutely no control, at that very moment (when i still had my voice) i said out loud nobody around here listens to me. and then i named them all — even the husband. not a single one of you, i said. and i believe at that moment, The Universe decided to play a little game and show me exactly how much worse it could be. now instead of having no voice figuratively, i literally don’t have one. cruel, cruel joke.
finally, given that The Little Mermaid movie and soundtrack have been on heavy rotation around here lately, i have absolutely no idea why it’s taken me so long to come to the only other logical conclusion about why this happened to me: the Sea Witch took my voice!