Blogtober14: my funniest childhood memory
a’ight, y’all. in all seriousness. the funniest thing about this post is how absolutely freakin’ absurd it is. could anybody please just give this old lady a break here? i can barely remember what i ate for dinner tonight, much less shit that happened literally decades ago. i mean . . . i am lucky to have a childhood memory, much less something that was funny. i’m not exaggerating when i say that i don’t have that many childhood memories. period. i’ve always wondered why. i definitely remember moments, places and feelings and weird, random snapshots, but no full-fleged stories. is that weird? i definitely didn’t have a traumatic childhood or anything, it was actually pretty effing normal. maybe it bored the hell out of me and i moved on? anyhoo . . .
so i went digging a little. i found a photo album my mom made for my grandparents for Christmas when i was 3. probably somewhere in my subconscious, this was the inspiration for the Miss Girl photo book i’ve done for her grandparents every Christmas for the past 3 years. (crap, it’s time for that again.) . . . the first funny thing about this album is that i’m referred to as “Kristi.” it obvs didn’t stick, because i never remember being called that. it was always “Krissy” or “Kris” or, lately, “Emma.” also, in addition to my dad’s epic sideburns, i was reminded of this:
yeah, probably the last time i ever slept, unfettered, on any sofa. also, what’s up with sucking my 2 middle fingers? but, no, what i’m really talking about here is look at that sofa, y’all! just look at it. and welcome to 1974. funny, right? it’s got some kind of cross between Aladdin’s palace and a pirate ship going on. and of course there were lots of railings to hold onto, because, whoa. get on this thing and you’re definitely going for a ride. i do have some vague memories of holding onto those railings and jumping up and down, which i’m sure my parents loved.
this piece(s) of furniture — sectional, with a slate corner table and matching octagonal coffee table — was definitely a memorable part of my childhood because we had it forever, as far as i remember. i could be wrong, but i kind of remember having this somewhere in our house until my parents got divorced like a decade later and my mom bought a super-girly white, rolled-arm, arched-back sofa and loveseat for our girls’ pad. thank god.
so, if really bad furniture is funny, this is hilarious. ha. i do have a funny childhood memory — yes!