sorry, y’all. this is not a fun post. it has not been a fun week. on the heels of having to suddenly put down our cat, Parker, last Saturday, i learned Tuesday that a dear friend and former co-worker had died in a car accident the night before. Pedro was 28 and one of the most talented, positive, caring people i have ever known. Then Thursday morning i woke, with the rest of the country, to the sad and shocking news that a 9 parishioners in a historic black church in Charleston had been gunned down during a prayer meeting, of all things. i don’t have any personal connection, but the weight of yet another of what seem to be weekly reminders of racism and gun violence in our country hit me hard. throughout the week, my Facebook feed was a constant and sometimes unbearable stream of condolences, remembrances and people trying to make sense of things that just don’t.
from the very most personal level to a national level to a basic human level, i have found myself shaken and utterly heartbroken over both the fleeting nature of life, itself, and the unfairness of good not winning out over evil — or sheer randomness, for that matter. in the very simplest of terms, the loss of life, innocence and faith has sucked. and i can’t even imagine what the other families who lost one of their (human) own are going through. again, my heart breaks just thinking about it.
this past week, i have reminisced about happier times and reconnected with old friends. i have tried to understand incomprehensible ignorance and hatred, and hoped that showing a little extra kindness whenever i could would somehow make up for it. i have driven more carefully and been more fearful of what might happen. and i have hugged my family a just little tighter. just in case.
i know i said it last week, but i’m looking forward to a better week next week!